Yikes People are Looking at Me

The babe and I went out to dinner last night with a dear friend. I love getting out of the house and visiting with others. It took me a long time to get comfortable taking Logan to public settings. I was afraid that he would start crying and that I wouldn't be able to console him. I was concerned that I would be disruptive to others. Now that I have had a few months to grow as a mother I realize that its just not that big a deal. Babies cry. That's how they communicate. Most people that you run into either have children or like children. I also feel that as long as I am dealing with the situation people will view me with positive regard and for some reason this matters to me.

I have been on the other end. I have been on the plane with the crying baby sitting nearby. Rather than being annoyed, I felt for the mom trying to calm her child. I've been at the doctor's office and was very irritated when a mom didn't seem to care, barely noticed, that her children were acting unruly. Everyone else in the room noticed, why didn't she? I wonder what a day at that house is like?

After bringing Logan out a bunch you know what I have found? He really doesn't fuss much. As long as his needs are met he is pretty content. Feeding the baby in public is something that I had to learn to get comfortable with. I felt and sometimes still do feel uncomfortable breast feeding in public. I become hyper sensitive to everyone around me and when people glance at me I wonder what is going through their mind. I have spoken to others who have similar thoughts and also feel uncomfortable nursing in front of others.

Why do women feel this way? I have heard of several situations that lend themselves to women feeling this way- women being asked not to nurse in specific locations although it is their legal right, silly polls in magazines that show a fair amount of individuals think women should not nurse in public etc. I am almost ashamed to feel a sense of embarrassment (I guess I would call it) for doing something that is natural, recommended, and beneficial to the well-being of my son. As time goes on I am less self conscious. I will admit though that if I am going out with friends or going to a restaurant I try to bring a bottle with pumped milk. My son gets the nutrition and I feel more at ease. That being said, if my son needs to be fed, he will be fed no matter where I am, no matter who is watching, no matter who cares.