The Electronic Pacifier

“There’s another one” my husband said as we walked by the restaurant window. “Another what?” I asked. “Another kid watching a movie while his parents eat dinner.”

It appears parents today have become quite reliant on what we like to call the ‘electronic pacifier’.  I remember the days when video screens began to show up in the back seats of vehicles; when portable dvd players moved to the necessity list of items to take on your trips. I also remember the days when playing the alphabet game and singing songs while on road trips was the thing to do. The age of the electronic pacifier is ever evolving as now we have iPhones and iPads to add to the mix. Is it a good idea to allow your child to use these devices? Is there a time and place for the use? And when is the right time? Is it at the dinner table?

I admit, my son is almost obsessed with tech goodies. His favorite non-toy toys include my husband’s iPad, my iPhone, the computers and remote control. We even gave my son, who is 13 months, my old iPhone when I purchased a new one. My husband put apps on it that are kid appropriate such as an alphabet game and a piano. Recently my son developed a liking for pretending to use the telephone. He thinks it’s the coolest thing ever and everything he picks up becomes a phone. My husband, being the genius that he is, created a Skype account for my son and now we can call each other on our phones. He loves it.

My son has absolutely no interest in watching television. I suppose this is a good thing as it is recommended that children under two years not watch any television. Every now and then I will put on a kid movie to see if he will be captured and have not found that anything captures his interest. So, even if I wanted to use watching tv as a pacifier while we are out in public, I’m afraid I am out of luck. I am not sure that I would though. I think it is important for a child to learn how to have dinner, how to engage with others at a dinner table and how to be respectful, meaning able to hold it together for the hour we are there to eat. This being said, I bring an arsenal of items to keep my son occupied at the dinner table. Everything from teething biscuits to small trucks or stacking cups are found at our dining table. So is this really any different than the electronic pacifier?

Several moms have told me that being able to have their kid watch a program while they visit with friends or get a few things done is convenient. I have often thought that it would be a lot easier to get chores complete if my son would watch a movie. Is it really hurting anyone? I don’t know. My son is still young and I am not going to say that I will never resort to sitting him in front of the tv, because there very well could come a point when I feel like it is a good idea. I still am not a fan of the dinner table movie. Road trips, though, I completely understand letting your kid watch a movie if you are on a plane or in the car for hours. Perhaps not the entire time, but those trips can become very long with a cranky little one! I am not above putting a movie on his phone for him to view. Thank goodness I don’t have to carry around a case full of dvd’s in addition to the player. I like to minimize the ‘stuff ‘ when traveling.

 I will say, I have on occasion given my phone to the baby when he wakes early in the morning so that I have a few minutes to wake up. He mostly just swipes his finger across the screen to turn the pages on my phone. He is pretty good at deleting apps too! While I let the baby play with the iPhone, I try not to use the iPhone. Does that make sense? I don’t rely on the electronic pacifier, but I let my son use electronics. I optimize the time I have while the baby naps and engage him in activities I am doing while he is awake. It turns out he actually likes to do laundry, dishes, and loves sweeping the floors. I sometimes look at him and can’t believe that he is my kid!  I imaging in a few years his love of cleaning will dwindle as he develops other interests.  Maybe not! One can hope!

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