Trying To Conceive Is Tough

As you know, I really would like to have another baby.  I have to say though, this trying to conceive stuff it tough.

First, you have to decide whether to stop breastfeeding or not.  Yes, you can get pregnant while breastfeeding, but it is much more difficult. So do you wait and try child led weaning or gently encourage the end.  I obviously chose to start weaning- not only because I want a sibling for the boy, but I also wanted more sleep and it was time to start taking my body back.  There are such conflicting opinions on the topic.  You have mothers saying that the docs strongly encouraged them to stop nursing for the benefit of the unborn child and other mothers saying that they happily nursed all the way through their pregnancy and then some.  Well, I have cut down on all feedings except for the before bed feeding so I think I am in good shape their.  Eventually that too will end and I won't have nursing to worry about.

Then there's the menstrual cycle crap.  When I finally got my cycle back, yes it took forever, it was strongly irregular.  That's when I decided to purchase some ovulation strips.  The first month I lost all hope.  I had come to terms with the fact that I was not going to ovulate.  Then I finally got that LH surge on day 31 of my cycle.  Gee Whiz!  So you do the deed and then you have that dreaded two week wait.  I hate that period of time.  I get a little obsessive and I hate it.  I become hyper sensitive about what is going on with my body and every little 'could be' symptom I have stuck in my head until the day when I get my period.  PMS again.  Damn.  I bought pregnancy test strips (because they are so darn cheap online) and I test several times a month only to find no double line.  So frustrating.

I know I have plenty of time.  At least I think I do.  I turn that age this year where I will be closer to 40 than 30 and it is always in the back of my head.  Why is age 35 that magic number that the doctors focus on? I keep telling myself that it will happen when it is supposed to happen.  That when my body is ready it will happen.  That doesn't mean that its not disappointing though.  Luckily, I have a beautiful little boy to keep me occupied and his smile makes me forget all the disappointment!

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