The Final Stages
The last month of my pregnancy brought on a variety of emotions. Anxiety was probably the most prominent of all. In one of my final doctor visits I learned that my little boy was breech. Once this information was received, I had to make the decision to either try having the baby manually turned by the doctor or to have a C-Section. Of course this all assuming that the baby did not turn prior to the delivery - he did not. So I opted for the C-Section. The delivery was now scheduled. This was so surreal as I had taken these birthing classes that prepared me for the stages of labor and different coping strategies etc. Now I was not going to experience labor, no contractions, no sweaty, bitchy, screaming moments and no pain. Many would consider me (and my husband) lucky. It's not that I wanted to have the pain, but it seemed and still does seem so weird that I just went to the hospital on the scheduled day and said "here I am" ready to have my baby, knowing the exact time that the baby would be coming out. I almost feel cheated of the experience.
The Pre-Birth
My C-Section was scheduled for November 18th at 6pm. This meant that I could not have anything to eat or drink from 10am on. No water, no candy, no gum. I thought it was going to be hell trying to keep from having food and drink, but it actually wasn't bad at all. I was busy stirring inside. Did I have everything ready? There were going to be packages delivered while we were in the hospital....It was supposed to rain, were they going to be ok sitting outside? What about the dog? Does he know what's happening? I'm going to miss the dog. Maybe I should clean the counters one more time. Do we have food to eat when we come home? What about my hospital bag? Lets go through the list one more time....one of the advantages of having the scheduled c-section (surgery) was that I didn't need the labor and delivery bag that was discussed in my class. I only needed the post-birth items. Don't forget the camera. Lets take some photos prior to leaving. Who had time to think about eating? Not me!
We arrived at the hospital at 4pm.
I recall entering the parking garage we were instructed to park in (since we were staying for 3-4 nights) and the lot was full. What now? The attendant told us to park in a different lot. Were we going to be ok in that lot? Are you sure that lot is for multiple day use? I don't need the car towed. Whatever, we will deal with it, and in we went.
I went to the registration window, signed a few papers and went to my assessment room. Once there i was asked a series of questions and was given an IV. Since my veins decided to disappear, this was the most trying part of the entire experience. It was at this time that all of my emotions began to flood from my eyes and I was not only in pain from all of the failed attempts at getting the IV in but also embarrassed that I now had tears running down my face. I'm about to give birth and I'm feeling embarrassed. Meanwhile my husband is snapping away wanting to capture every moment of my misery. He found it particularly hilarious when the nurse gave me a box of tissues ever so appropriately branded "sniffles."
There were probably 10 different people that entered the room for one reason or another. My least favorite was the woman who asked me if i wanted to be part of a research study. I mean, I'm passionate about research, but now? you are asking me now? My favorite was the anesthesiologist. He inquired as to what music i wanted in the operating room. He said "we have pandora so...." My mood suddenly became brighter as I pondered the library in my brain. I could not be happier with my choice. I chose Jamie Cullum. This brought such artists as Adele, John Mayer and Frank Sinatra. I could not have asked for better music and everyone in the room seemed to agree as they commented on the good tunes and great choice! Once in the operating room I felt calm. Or maybe i was just telling myself that because I wouldn't stop shaking. A sweet gentleman kept placing warm blankets over me. I don't even know if i was cold. I just remember the calm collected demeanor of that anesthesiologist who talked me through each step of the process. He rocked.
The Birth
The first thing I noticed was a strong odor that I assumed came with cutting me open and i actively tried to put it out of my mind. Everything moved rather quickly. I felt completely comfortable in my doctors hands. The doctor assisting (who was also familiar) commented to my doc that this was the cleanest c-section she had seen. What a relief that was to hear. Before I knew it my little man was lying in the 'clean up area' getting wiped down, suctioned and weighed. "Come on in here dad and get some good pictures" one of the nurses said. It was so exciting to finally have him here.
Logan John Lake: The Beginning
I remember when the nurse placed Logan in my arms, still on the operating table while I was being stitched up. I felt so proud and a feeling of disbelief overcame me as I could not believe that we created this perfect being. I held him for a few minutes and then once I was all ready to leave the operating room we wheeled to a post-op recovery room. I had to stay there for a couple hours. It was crowded in this area. It was not pleasant or comfortable, but it was all part of the procedure. It was here that I first attempted to breastfeed. Logan took to it right away which was a relief.
I was then moved to my private recovery room which became home for the next few days. The first hour or so was about set up. Lets get rid of this chair, put this chair over there, roll the bed for papa in and put baby here. I chose to keep the baby with me the entire time. I didn't feel the need to put the baby in the nursery. I wanted him close by. I asked to have his first bath done in our room. I could tell the nurse really didn't want to do it in the room and wanted to take him to the nursery but I insisted.
I held him the entire first night. I didn't want to put him down and he seemed quite content. I didn't sleep a wink that first night. There was so much to learn. I was encouraged to feed him every hour and a half to 3 hours. We had a feeding chart to mark all of the feedings down, which was good because I could not keep track of much of anything let alone time at that point. We also charted all the pee and poop diapers. Every time the nurses came in they asked for all of this information. What time was the last feeding, how long, on both breasts? How long on each? what about the diaper changes? Blah, blah, blah.
By day 2, I was in pain and needed help with everything. The baby was so calm though. I was surprised at how much he slept and how i needed to wake him to eat. i thought, "this is great!" - little did i know. I was both delighted and annoyed at the attention i was getting from the nurses. I loved that they brought me all the water and juice I could drink. I even was brought warm chocolate chip cookies and milk! I got to choose my meals from a menu! However, every hour or so someone came in and checked on me. The routine was exhausting. Can you tell me your date of birth? Do you have any allergies? I need to check your wrist band, and the baby's. Here are your pills. Did the boy pee, poop? What was the feeding....
Day 3 was a bit more exciting. I walked around the hospital (not by choice). I showered on my own. I was able to get out of bed without help. And I slept. A lot. Jared turned the nurses away at some points (my hero). Everyone was doing well.
On day 4 Papa was ready to go. He packed the suitcase and had everything picked up before I was told it was ok to leave. Several hours later we were headed home with baby! Let the games begin!
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